Maruchi
Santana was born in 1959 in Cuba. When Castro came to power four years
later
her family fled to Puerto Rico. With the assistance of Sacred Heart nuns and La Salle priests who were family friends, her parents
got work there as university professors. At the age of twenty, Maruchi
moved to New York City to pursue a master’s
degree. She and John met their first day on campus and married in 1883
when Maruchi was twenty-three.
Not
ready to start a family—too young, thesis incomplete, relationship
still new—Maruchi
and John discussed their options. On both moral and health grounds, the
Pill was out. “It didn’t feel right,” Maruchi says. “I didn’t want to
put anything in my body.” They used condoms for the next five years, and
as soon as they stopped she got pregnant.
That pregnancy ended in miscarriage as did the next. Their son was born
in 1988, a daughter in 1992 and, after another miscarriage, a second
daughter in 1997.
Maruchi
and John did a lot of talking and collaboration to come to a vision of
what
their family would be. Since she was working full time in the company
they founded in 1985, she wanted to space her babies about three years
apart. That way she could take each baby to work with her for the early
months and leave older children at home with
a nanny. (Maruchi breastfed and had many “accidents” at work. But
people were very nice, she says, at a time when her situation was
unusual.)
Maruchi
says that although there’s never a right time to have a baby, the
couple needs
time together first to build a relationship and should feel responsible
and ready. Her own mother—and, she conjectures, her mother-in-law, too—got
pregnant on her wedding night.
Too abrupt, Maruchi says. Although children bring great love and
happiness, the couple needs at least the first year without the stress
of pregnancy, childbirth and parenthood.
Maruchi
has experienced mixed emotions
in trying to balance family life and weigh options. She feels that every couple should give the topic of family planning a yearly review. She’s
seen friends become so complacent with birth control that, to their
regret, they wait until pregnancy is no longer
easy—or even possible.
The
Church, she feels, is remiss in not being open to birth control options
and making
distinctions among them. “They’re kidding themselves,” she says. In
order to act responsibly, young adults need more education on the topic
of family planning. She doesn’t like the Morning after Pill, which
substitutes abortion for prevention. “The couple
should be able to plan at least a day ahead,” she says. “And it’s not a
matter of means, because if they can afford the Morning after Pill they
can afford prevention.”
Maruchi does not presume to dictate to her daughters regarding birth control. She wishes
for them and for all women to be happy and safe and to have children when they feel ready, not before.
