I started using the pill in 1972 when I was first married. I had told my doctor I wanted to delay pregnancy. She said the Pill was the surest method, and, although my husband and I had been wary of its possible side effects, I landed on the sidewalk with a prescription for the Pill in hand, too compliant to resist. Less than two years later, I got off the Pill to get pregnant and although the doctor told me to use an alternate form of birth control I didn’t because I couldn’t think what to use.
After our son was born, my husband and I decided to let nature take its course—after all, we did want more children. I was one of those rare women for whom breastfeeding widely spaces pregnancy. I nursed my son through toddlerhood, and did not resume my menstrual cycle until he was two and one half. He was nearly four when our first daughter was born. Three and one half years later our second daughter was born. By the time my periods resumed, my husband and I had entered our forties and for this and other reasons we felt sure that our family was complete.
We attended sessions here in Brooklyn of Natural Family Planning. We practiced NFP for about ten years. I had delivered all my children through natural childbirth with my husband present and had become a La Leche League leader assisting other mothers with breastfeeding. Through NFP, my husband I came to know my body even more and learned to cooperate with its natural cycle. It appealed to me that NFP was a Catholic ministry and that I was in synch with Catholic teaching.
As we exited our forties and I entered pre-menopause, my cycles were less regular, and the formerly easy-to-read cervical and temperature signs became harder to interpret. The thought of a surprise pregnancy became increasingly less amusing to contemplate. The days of abstinence stretched long. One day my husband brought home condoms that were being passed out in a public high school where he did business. I thought he meant them as a joke. No joke, and we gave them a try. They worked fairly well. I decided I would never trust them, however, in a life or death situation–with a partner who had AIDS, for instance. Nor were they the most effective means of preventing pregnancy. And I did not want to have a baby in my 50’s. By this time neither my husband nor I were about to accept on a doctor’s authority that the Pill was a good idea even though more was known about it and the dosages had changed.
I went to the midwife who had attended my daughters’ births and got fitted for a diaphragm. This plus spermicidal gel—and the “-cidal” part did make me wince—got me through the next few years. Then came the year when at an annual checkup, the midwife said it had been a long enough time since my last period that I had no more need of birth control.
On my next post, I’ll speak more about my own experiences and feelings on the subject. In the meantime, I welcome your stories, Catholic women, about birth control.
